Since discovering the Bach flower remedies I had been too scared to take two remedies; Agrimony and Oak.

Up until recently, after years of working with the system both personally and professionally, I had managed to escape the clutches of these two remedies and convince myself I didn’t need them.

That’s because Agrimony is the remedy for those who wear masks or use forms of escapism to hide their pain, and Oak is for those who feel they need to keep going all the time, even when the need for rest is glaringly obvious.  I had imagined (despite knowing that the Bach remedies do not work in this way) that I wouldn’t be able to use humour as a way to avoid public vulnerability, I wouldn’t be able to appear strong anymore; the way in which those I love need me to be, and I would be forced to stop and rest past a point I could return from, if I took these two tinctures.

But by starting with Agrimony, when I eventually realised that I was holding myself back by means of resisting it, I came to realise that the remedies and energy-work that invite a period of rest can actually be the most beneficial.  I don’t just mean rest in the physical sense, but rest from show reels, abusive coping strategies or even rest from responding re-actively in the moment, as all of those things are exhausting.

When I meet a new client, I will ask them in their initial consultation why they have come to see me and this question often throws people for some reason.

But can you guess what the most common answer is?…

…It’s ‘relaxation!’

 

Yet relaxation is the very thing that so many of us find so hard to do, and even go as far as to sabotage it by finding things to do when we notice that we start to take time out for ourselves or from our ‘duties’.   The vast majority of us even feel as strong a feeling as guilt for taking time out for ourselves or for doing nothing.

I witness so many people in my own community do one of two things when it comes to ‘healing’.  There are those who avoid alternative therapies altogether, perhaps through fear of the unknown, resistance to change, or even sabotaging their own success, and then there are the group of awakening souls who want to try everything!  They want to sit in circles multiple times during the week, do every training course, or attend the opening of a spiritual envelope, all without adequate time for integration of the healing they have encountered or reflection afterwards.

I am not highlighting either choice by means to cause any detriment to these people, as all of us will fall into both of these camps at varying points on our individual journeys.  But what I have come to learn is that both approaches can cause delays in improved health and well-being as they lack balance.

 

Healing is not always about getting what you want, infact it’s often about getting what you need

 

A channel or intuitive-led practitioner will often bypass the physical body or the guidance spoken on a 3D level and go straight for a deeper connection with your higher self.  This means that healing will take place unfiltered and in ways that are subconsciously determined by the part of you that knows how to get you the results you crave in the long run.  Knowing just what it needs to do to get you back on track physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually without fear or overthought, and often without initially making sense to the conscious mind.  This means that for some people they can be forced to down tools if they are people who are not checking in with their body enough or are in situations of heightened stress and trauma, which causes them to react or ‘keep going’ rather than to rest – almost like a fight or flight situation.

Resting is so hard to do, and learning to do it without frustration, without expectation and without a self-administered ‘time-frame’ is not only a huge act of self-care but it’s an inner surrender to flow.  Trusting the process and learning to see this unscheduled downtime as a blessing that is perhaps saving you from exhaustion, a breakdown, or a further deterioration in physical or mental health.  Those who resist the flow are often taken out of action for longer as it becomes no longer just about the benefits of resting and also about learning the lesson of how to live in flow and the great unknown.`

I understand first hand how hard resting is.  I battle with chronic fatigue every day in my personal life, which means that the need for rest is often unavoidable and unpredictable.  I also struggle with issues of worthiness.

On my ongoing search for my authentic self I can now see just how worthiness for me relates to rest.  For I have never allowed myself to feel worthy of rest.  In the past when I have taken even an afternoon to have a siesta, or I have written off a day to watch rubbish TV and sit in my pj’s, I feel an obligation from myself or those around me to do something.  To perhaps allow myself to lie in bed, but to do some work on my laptop at the same time.  Or to only allow an hour or two’s rest before getting up to tidy the house, all before my partner gets home and would therefore never know I had been resting!  This is not rest.  This is controlled rest.  My mind, let alone my body, never got to fully switch off and immerse itself in this down time as I was already thinking about what time I needed to get up or what was an adequate amount of ticks to make on my to do list alongside this day off!  And I see it so many times.  Clients who have had a period of exhaustion pre and post treatment with me, and being incredibly frustrated by this or wary to book a follow-up as a result.  Or those who ask if remedies will make them tired before even taking them, as they seek stimulants not relaxers.

I can see, and I include my own fears in this, that we are becoming a nation who are frightened to stop!

Truly stop.  As we have too many expectations placed upon us and we view resting as lazy, a waste of time and something that holds us back.

But what happens when we burn out or get sick?  We are forced to stop.  Yet the world keeps turning.  The household still runs.  The kids still get to school.  Our jobs wait for us to return (usually).  And as frustrated as we may feel initially, we know that our bodies want and need this.  We instinctively know that we need to take to our beds and to rest for a while, and in most cases we allow ourselves to do this.

Rest isn’t just about going to sleep or lying in bed.  Rest is about integration.  It’s about taking that time out from therapies, circles, people or duties by making time for some silence in your life.  It’s about switching off from the stimulants of caffeine, alcohol, drugs, unhealthy foods, social media and TV and getting out into nature, with just you and a good book or an intention of mindfulness.  It’s about getting off the treadmill in the gym and slowing it down to a jog or a walk in the local park.  It’s as simple as that. Above all else it’s about learning the difference between needing rest and integration or going into resistance (resistance blog coming soon!).

After any period of healing there is a time when we must stop and often disconnect from our current lives in order to adjust to the new and improved ways that are trying to enter.

So, if you’re still with me, take 5 minutes now to turn your phone to silent, to turn off the background noise and to tune into your body.  What is she asking from you?  Are there aches or pains?  Are there signs that you’ve ‘overdone’ it at the gym or at work or even socially with alcohol/food/drugs and too many late nights?  Perhaps on the emotional end of the scale, there may even be signs that you have done enough for now.  You have had enough treatments, you have attended enough retreats, you have sat in circle more times this month than you’ve sat at your family dinner table and now it’s time to stop and check in.  To quieten the mind and to engage the heart to see what’s coming up.  What triggers have revealed themselves this week or what signs are around you?  What lessons have you learnt?  What unique traits are you beginning to realise you have (as it’s not all about the negative!) It’s time to rest and it’s time to integrate no doubt, so do this for yourself now, no matter how small the act, as this is a fundamental part of any healing journey and awakening, yet it is often the one that gets ignored.  It shouldn’t take going on holiday to take time out to rest and to be present.

Taking time out whether physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally will give you more energy to get things done in the long run, and a much deeper sense of healing.

Rest. Listen. Integrate. Grow.

 

Yours in love and light,

 

 

Never fear, Oak and Agrimony will not necessarily induce rest for you, no more than any other remedy IF that’s what you need at the time of taking them.  So please don’t avoid them.

 

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