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Healing is an ever evolving and expansive modality, and one that’s deeply subjective.  It will mean something different to everyone as it will require something different for all who seek it.

Therefore, holding space for healing to take place is complex and there is a lot more involved than you may think.  Creating a loving and alchemic space is so much more than consciously calling people into circle or ceremony whilst spouting a few words of wisdom and waving a feather wand around, which is how it may look on the surface.

Healing is continuing to support the friend who does all the taking whilst you do all the giving, because you can see the triggered growth.  It’s the causes you champion and support even though they don’t return the energy exchange, because you believe in their roots and wider benefit.  It’s the candles you light behind the scenes for those in pain without making it onto your social media show reel.  It’s the divine material you channel and make your own, rather than someone else’s craft passed off as your ‘weekly wisdom’.   It’s the blessings you send out to an unknowing collective to aid a global ascension.  It’s the silent tears you cry for a burning rain-forest or the unprotected animals.  It’s the relationships you eventually walk away from to begin work on your own wounds so as to limit collateral damage to others.  It’s the distressed strangers on a train you send distant love and light to comfort.   It’s the flower remedies you take or the soul journeys you travel on behalf of those around you who are unwilling to change.

It’s the ancestral wounds you inherited and vow to break rather than continue to pass down the maternal and paternal lines.  It’s the channelled words you share outside your comfort zone because your guides say the world needs to hear them.  It’s the free online content you provide via social media, blogs and chance meetings that yield comfort and emotive thought to someones day.  It’s the discounts or free space you gift to those who need it more than they know.  It’s the free hugs, the extra time, the finest tea and the heartfelt space you give to those drawn to your light and work.  It’s forgiving others who will never understand the magnitude of the gesture.  It’s taking responsibility for your actions, even when you’re hurt.  It’s learning how to love yourself when those around you can’t.   It’s shining your light, speaking your truth and presenting co-creation even when it triggers, receives conflicting opinion or isn’t understood.  It’s all of this, and so very much more.

Makes you think doesn’t it?

When you’re called into service, despite vowing that it will be a part time venture, you make a subconscious decision to dedicate your every being to this way of life.  It’s a silent contract that means you will never be able to choose your hours, rules of employment or hand in your notice, as you will forever be serving a higher power that knows what’s best for you.    You sign up to put more love into the world than you’re ever likely to get back, and once you move through your ego you become comfortable with that exchange.  Because you start to appreciate that you made an unbreakable pledge in many lives previous, that you will heal, grow and find your authentic self no matter what the cost in this lifetime.  In my case, illness and isolation.

When you take the first step on a healing journey you will never be able to step back into comfort or be able to be a half-assed version of yourself ever again.  You will no longer be able to ignore your gut, or else the universe will harshly intervene to cut the cords for you.  You will no longer be able to live small, in ego or conform to the invisible ‘rule-book for good people’.  And when you hold space for others on that journey then these unspoken expectations magnify, have (biodegradable) glitter on top and bells and whistles to boot!

With that comes repetitive challenges, and at times relentless testing.  Bringing with it suppressed insecurities and internal battles you thought you had fought and won.  This can be exhausting, isolating and often the root definition of healing!

But with this journey also comes an immeasurable euphoria and a freedom of self.  A nirvana of the highest order, deeper connections and an everlasting gratitude of self and in turn the rest of the world.  It’s the release of material gratification, sought out validation, ego-living and surface happiness.  It’s a medicine for the soul that no Dr or Chemist could ever prescribe.  It’s the best feeling in the world, it’s the feeling of self-mastery.

To be a channel/healer/light-worker/shaman/*insert word here* you have to take care of yourself.  You have to be willing to take yourself from a wounded healer to an awakened being, for which the goalpost will continually move inline with your new and unique skill-sets, tribes and lessons.  The end result will shake with every lower vibration, retrograding planet or challenging astrological house sign.  As you transform and are attuned to new energetic frequencies, you will need to find stronger spiritual defences, be even kinder to yourself and often need to take extended time out from social media, people and helping others.

When you are an empath and live with a chronic illness such as myself, this makes the journey that much more painful and requires even more solitary self-care as I am beginning to learn.

As an empath you are further affected by the decisions of world leaders, by the cries of the planet, by the vibration of the collective and alike. Which means that it’s a necessary part of ‘the job’ to take extended periods of isolation to go deeper into this work.  Taking a break isn’t always about taking a physical vacation, although sometimes that’s part of it, but it’s more about taking time to process, to integrate and to understand your own triggers and wounds so that in turn you can hold space for others to heal.

There is no doubt about it that this is the down side of being in service, and it’s so deeply painful at times.

I used to see taking a break as weak.  Especially as it tends to follow repeated dark nights of the soul inevitably experienced through ignoring my body, synchronised signs and my intuition.   But I’m beginning to realise that in order to evolve my work I must first evolve myself.  My mind, my body and my soul.  I must detox, cleanse and completely reset my chakric system and auric field so that I am more aligned with my path and guidance.  I must be willing to revisit the heavy karmic ties of my heart.

At times I have felt that I would love to run away from all this and start again. Go back to an office job or only agree to do reiki on a small scale. Part of me has wanted to gift myself a whole year off to go on a personal pilgrimage deep into the woods and shut off from everyone and everything, just so I could rest properly and hear myself think. But that’s not me. And my guides won’t allow that. So instead I have to compromise because they’re now saying it’s time to listen and it’s time to rebuild, for there are many blocks within my work and within my tribe.

I am following the path of a channel and I am not where I consciously started this journey 5 ish years ago, and a long time before that with my eyes wide shut. Almost everything that I say and I do is coming from an ascended place, higher than I can often translate into 3D words or understand at times.

It’s no longer a therapy or a practice inherited from books or teachers, it’s the unscripted work of my heart and soul.

So perhaps I have been a fool to think that smudging my home, using protective practices that I was first taught for hourly therapeutic work, and the odd meditation would be enough to provide great spiritual defences anymore.

I am a being of light that is expansive and ever-evolving, therefore I need to do a lot more within my basic foundations to grow and to protect myself.  That includes releasing worry what others think or how my events/words/work are interpreted, as it seems the more I grow the more I lose followers, the less attendance I have in ceremony and the more opinion I receive.

This realisation came as a huge wake up call and attack to the soul on my recent Samhain tea ceremony.  When I unexpectedly had to close my circle early following repeated verbal abuse from others who had also booked the space for their event expecting to be alone, unbeknown to us all.

 

I realised in that moment just how alone and out of my depth I felt, as I am the channel and the entire events team for my business…Honeysuckle is just me!  I am not headed up by a committee or on a conscious healing journey with a business partner, I am everything and I live and learn from my mistakes.

I felt out of my depth as I was in shock from what happened and wide open through channelling and holding a calming space that was attacked repeatedly with aggression and anger.  Taken a back,  I wasn’t able to articulate what my higher self knew to those shaken souls in attendance, which was that this experience was actually a learning tool for us all, and healing that you couldn’t put a price on!

For me it evoked physical fear as one of the ‘gentlemen’ (and I use that word politely and loosely) shouted inches from my face, as well as unearthed a great impostor syndrome, resentment towards those who I felt had put me in that situation and above all else guilt.  Guilt as I felt responsible and embarrassed that my circle didn’t deliver what I had promised.  I don’t mind admitting that the situation was the straw that broke the camels back and made me see what I had been ignoring for too long out of loyalty.

The experience was an opportunity for growth for all of us, which is after all what we signed up for, as no-one said healing would be all love and light.  The way we individually felt and reacted in that situation was showing us exactly what it was time to release and what emotions were holding us back.  Furthermore, it was completely out of my control so should therefore be no reflection on me.

Nonetheless, I saw in that very moment that I was done with serving others for the time being, and instead I wanted to strengthen my defences so that I couldn’t be affected that deeply again.  I wanted to expand my aura from energy attacks and opinion.  I wanted to take a deeper look at who I was supporting and travelling with at this stage of my evolved journey.  I wanted to gift the love and healing to myself, for it was clearly so long overdue.

Making my decision to take a break publicly, and without the initial need to explain why, received an overwhelming amount of love and support, some of which from people I never even knew followed my work.  After such an unsettling Hallows experience, this unexpected lifeline of kindness restored my faith in the world and indeed my own work.  But of course it also received opinion, gossip and highlighted the people and places I have now outgrown.  It also allowed others to play down this role as though they were one up on me by realising I needed a break, this is ego living!  But I realised that ‘taking a break’ merely means taking a break from social media, gifting everything I mentioned in the opening paragraphs and no longer holding space, it doesn’t mean stopping this work, infact it means doing more.   But that’s the nature of this role, it is a platform that will always receive critique and opinion, and those that think healing is something you just one day master.

But I choose to do things differently.  I choose to be more vulnerable, honest and to change the way we see healing, which should be a country mile from the world of hierarchy, shadow-free light and show reels.  The channels I am drawn to are changing things and work towards this vision I have.  The world is changing because healers and channels are changing. There is a gaping and obvious difference between those who are awake and in this for the long haul, and those who see this as a part time journey of bandwagons to jump on.   These channels are ‘a bit of me’ and they share their lows as much as their highs for they speak honestly about their triggers. They evolve from them and they bring this awareness into circle.

They are called into this work and are unwilling to go around it, for they are brave enough to go through it.

For this reason, they will not be able to relentlessly serve without having to stop.   And these are the people I want to receive healing from, I want to be taught by, I want to sit in circle with and who I want in my tribe.   People who take responsibility for their blocks and triggers and know when it’s time to stop and to regroup.

In the weeks that have followed Samhain,  I can see the many blessings in what happened.  Namely that I can now take some time out for myself, to re-establish a committed Honeysuckle Tribe when I return and to break links to people and causes that no longer serve me.  But what’s been more beneficial is the realisation that I need to rebuild,  I need to raise my vibration and I need to have stronger defences.

It has taken me weeks to write this blog as I wanted to be sure that I am writing it for the right reasons.  That I am not doing it out of retaliation for what happened or that I am not justifying my actions or need to take time out.  As always, I write from a point of healing to help others.  From now on I trust that those who take the time to read my blogs and indeed are still here following me on the other-side of my break are meant to be here.  I trust the organic restructure that will come from this.

I can’t say when I will be back or in what capacity, and I am sure the winds of change will carry me through many directions in the new year.

But this is what authenticity looks like.  This is what channelling looks like.

Thank you for your continued love and support.  See you on the other side!

Yours in love and light,

 

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

Will I ever be enough? This is a question I ask myself on average at least once a week, sometimes consciously aloud and sometimes suppressed into the ways that I act or feel.

At least once a week may sound a ‘little much’ to some, but I believe it’s a question that many people, particularly awakened ‘women,’ ask themselves frequently too.

In fact anyone on a path of self development or conscious soul searching will likely ask it so much as they too will have this self-limiting dialogue carved into them as if it were a tattoo.

You may be fooled into thinking that asking this question repeatedly is all about low self esteem or a lack of self confidence; therefore excluding you if you feel above this way of feeling.  Sure, those mindsets don’t help if that’s something you live with, but they are actually unrelated to the root of the question.

That’s because this question relates more to impostor syndrome, and for me impostor syndrome isn’t always a bad trait if you can learn how to live in the more positive aspect of it. Impostor syndrome gets you asking questions in order to learn, to grow and more importantly to heal. This is fundamental on a Goddess inspired path or the path of an authentic light-worker.

Impostor syndrome in essence is an inner craving to become more, and a desire to unearth more of yourself, your authentic self, and indeed the rest of the world, which we often achieve through initial self doubt.

We feel like an ‘impostor’ because deep down we know we can be so much more, and in many ways we are fighting the internal calling and birthright to step into our power.  And that’s because we are taught to fear our higher selves and our authentic beings from a young age.  For women this is especially true as we are born with gender inherited shame and guilt, which is magnified in the values we are taught such as comparison, inferiority and critical self dialogue.

And despite what you may have been taught, that this is low vibrational energy; those with impostor syndrome are often the most skilled of light-workers and the most attuned channels.  They are less likely to be living and working in their egos, because they understand the questions they must ask of themselves to keep it real and to evolve.

We are taught to fear success, to resist self expansion and to dim our lights so that others can live untriggered alongside us.  We are taught to live small.

From this fear we learn how to put our deepest dreams in a box that struggles to contain them, and we limit our cosmic beings to a 1D or 2D realm, or if we’re really lucky a 3D or 4D existence, whereby we really start to ask ourselves the opening question.  And it’s only when we start to ask this question consciously and with an intention to grow, that I believe we are starting to ascend to 5D and beyond.

Years pass and adolescence is cruel to any awakened soul, indigo child, empath or highly sensitive person.   We become wrapped in individual blankets of BS, of unjust self analysis and of life limiting belief systems and core values.  Because we are taught this from a young age and our forefathers are taught this.  We inherited our parents opinions of us, we adopted unhealed ancestral trauma through our paternal and maternal lines and we believed what media and society told us about our labels.

And thus began the rise of the question “will I ever be enough?”

The question will differ from person to person.  For some this will not even be consciously asked, and it will more be an inferiority of sorts that presents in behaviour, insecurities or feelings.

For others it will be a loud loop that plays out regularly, as if to say your best isn’t good enough,  YOU aren’t good enough.  In remedy terms it’s likely to be the Pine’s, the Larch’s, the Rock Water’s, the Centaury’s, the Agrimony’s and the Cerato’s in my opinion.

I believe the question ‘will I ever be enough’ is ingrained in women the moment they are born.  That’s not to say that this question is gender exclusive, but I believe that it’s a statement attached to the divine feminine, and this is felt more prominently in women.  You then inherit an ancestral line, particularly passed down through the maternal line, of women before you who never quite found their worth or voice due to their inherited belief systems or the suppression of feminism during harder times.  These wounds have now been passed on to you as if they were a baton and it’s now your turn to have a go at healing them alongside your own unique shadows.

The way you are brought up also plays a part, for the media you are exposed to, the parental viewpoints and the developmental years of an empath for example can make or break your inner critic.

I remember feeling fat, ugly and like I just didn’t fit in from as young as 2!

I have wonderful and loving parents, I have experienced no known trauma at a young age and I have no reason to feel this way, but I did.  I wanted more from that tender age and I wanted to be anyone and anything other than me, as I felt like a failure.

Whilst doing my Reiki training I travelled back to ‘heal my past’ and this was the first memory that came to me, and this is when I became aware of my 2 year old inner child, who had shaped so much of my adult life.  I saw my younger self playing in the flower beds in a local park and I felt as if I wanted to be more like my sister, who wasn’t crying because she didn’t want her photo taken, or wasn’t causing her parents stress because she was ‘different’ and wouldn’t ‘conform’.  For 30+ years I learned to hate that child/myself, and my insecurities were magnified with every partner, friend, co-worker or stranger who told me I was too loud, too sensitive, needy, difficult because I saw the world so differently or effectively not good enough.

But it’s only now that I am starting to ask myself this question in the positive, for greater good and growth.  “Will I ever be enough” in terms of wanting to ensure I am striving for my best self and connecting to my hearts calling whilst dancing to my own tune.

It’s taken years of painful shadow and solitary work, carefully selected Bach flower remedies, many modalities of healing, soul journeying to heal and understand my past lives and my inner child and a continued ascension into 5D living.  It’s also taken changing my energetic vibration so that I am attracting kinder souls who want to help me as much as I want to help them.

If you too are consciously asking yourself “will I ever be enough”, then start to gift the question positive power by replacing it with something like, “what do I need to do to grow further?’.  This is a far kinder approach and you will get a lot more from the lesson.  Considering Bach remedies such as Larch, Pine, Rock Water, Agrimony, Centaury or Cerato so as to remove the self doubt and restrictions to grow will help to.  And finally, it’s never too late to love that inner child in the way that they needed and deserved to be loved.

Remember,  we are all asking if we will ever be enough in some form or another, for we are all on this beautiful healing journey called life.

Yours in love and light,

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

 

 

 

 

There is a common myth amongst the spiritual community, that you have to be happy all the time in order to be ‘enlightened’ and that healing is all love and light.

To be a light-worker of any kind you cannot openly experience what are known in the trade as low-vibrational energies or emotions.  These tend to be feelings such as anger, jealousy, sadness, insecurity and alike.  You know, the very things that you are likely to have been brought up suppressing, because you learned through adopting parental behaviours or witnessing a collective that these were the ‘bad guys.’

It is subconsciously expected by your public platform, and on occasions your peers, that you will be a cross between Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandi!  A ‘normal’ human just isn’t spiritually enlightened after all…or so the story goes!

Well, I am here to burst that bubble and to dispel that myth as it actually drives me crazy!

I believe that one of the things we as a collective are trying to heal in this lifetime is the learned behaviours of our ancestors, our manufactured modern day media and the inherited parental lines.  For all of us, no matter how we present, which language we speak, which country we come from or which God we believe in, all seem to have a common misunderstanding… that we should only embrace our light, and at the expense of pretending we hold no dark.

This learned behaviour feeds into our insecurities and encourages our suppression of pain and trauma, for we see it as some kind of personal failure if we exhibit these low vibrational behaviours.

We begin unhealthy comparisons, put channels and healers on pedestals to magnify our conceived inadequacies and we never truly learn how to love and embrace our wholeness.   We actually start to lose our power and get further away from healing ourselves, as we lose sight of just who ‘ourselves’ really are.

Thankfully there are a rising number of channels and alchemic therapists who hold space to address shadow work, and others whose healing methods help us to let go of ‘good and bad’ connotations.  Through my own personal and professional development I too am working towards building communities appreciative of a self-duality; an unapologetic presence of our shadows and of our light.

Just as there is no day without night and no night without day, we need both our darkness and our luminescence in order to thrive.

Some of the channels and therapists I respect the most are those who own their feelings, even when they get it wrong.  Those who post videos that move them to public tears, and those who sit in circle and do the painful work alongside their paying tribe (rather than pretend they do!)    For most authentic beings of light in this field are those who have experienced pain and persecution on large scales in their lives.

They are often the people who take their insecurities, their traumas, their misfortunes and their universal need to feel loved and they channel it into helping others.  They are the people who made a brave declaration to strive to put more love into the world than perhaps they have personally experienced, through using their wounds to heal and empathise.   That doesn’t mean that these people no longer feel pain, that they have all their shit together and that they don’t get it wrong sometimes, they are human, they are constantly evolving.  It just means that they are trying to become the best version of themselves and to empower others to come along for the ride.

If you haven’t learned to incorporate your shadows, then their is tremendous weight to carry as a light-worker.  You will always hide under a fabricated light, for others will take great pleasure in exposing your darkness for you.   I now believe that without utilising your shadows you will limit what you can offer as a channel, as a person and as a business.  For example, I found my inner Priesti through shadow work, and this is an energetic gift and skill-set that I struggle to understand how I lived without now.

I have begun taking steps on a path as a channel, which I believe may take me away from being a therapist of sorts.  With this comes a responsibility to do the opposite to what I once believed, in terms of showing an ascending collective that healing is found just as much in the dark as it is in the light.  It is a path of pain as much as pleasure and one that is very much about authenticity and public vulnerability (the latter being the one I am still working on!)

We need to end the emotional stigma.  That’s why so many people have become mental and physical health advocates, as the array of emotions that come with fighting illness are often forgotten and judged.  Whereas the truth is, all emotions are forgotten and judged, for we as humans are actually learning what it means to be ‘happy’ with an ever evolving picture of what that looks like for each of us.

So are happy healers the best healers?

…well I guess it depends who you ask!

For me, every emotion is valid.  In my opinion, the greatest healers, light-workers, channels and therapists are those who on occasions struggle to find the balance in their emotions yet are never too scared to show them to the world.

Book therapies with the professionals who are unapologetically flawed but forever willing to learn from their mistakes; as trust me, they’re the real game-changers!

Yours in love, and just for today a rather happy light,

 

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

 

 

When asked what my favourite season is, I answered without hesitation, Spring!

For many of us, Spring is an eagerly anticipated time of year.  It’s an opportunity to say goodbye to dark nights, cold weather and the anti-climax of Christmas, whilst welcoming a renewed sense of optimism in its place.  For me, it’s no different.

There is something quite magical about Spring.  I always feel it’s another chance to regroup and to refocus on my goals for the year ahead; picking up the slack from any January intentions or resolutions I might have missed.

From the sight of the first snowdrops peering above the morning frost to later enjoying abundant fields of dancing yellow daffodils, I have really started to appreciate the beautiful transition into this life-giving time of year.

On a recent walk with my little Audrey, I felt a sensory overload from the surrounding green landscapes and the sight and smell of newly emerging flowers and trees.  It made me realise just how many opportunities for mindfulness this season brings.

Mindfulness seems to be the ‘buzz’ word again at the moment, but it’s quite simply an easily adopted act of gratitude and a way to be present.   It’s even something you can get the kids to do!

It’s nothing more than a conscious decision to bring our wandering minds back to what is going on around us and to acknowledge the moment in all it’s witnessed beauty.   It can be the simple decision to stop and smell the flowers, the awareness that we are feeling a strong emotion, the decision to walk with our head up and not down so that we may take in our surroundings, or the appreciative focus on the inhale and exhale.  It is everyday tasks that so many of us take for granted, rush through or even suppress.

With the stresses and strains of modern day life, I quite often find myself slipping out of the present and either into the past or time-travelling to the future.  This can be a very dangerous way to live as not only can it bring unnecessary worries, but it also stops me living and understanding what’s going on within and around me.

Unlike guided forms of meditation, albeit a similar exercise, mindfulness isn’t about escaping the mind or body in order to relax.   We no longer want to imagine our feet in the sea or walking barefoot on lush grass, it’s now about doing those things in ‘real time’ and enjoying every bloomin’ minute of it…even the bits that seemingly go wrong!

During mindfulness practice we are encouraged to ‘check-in’ and to feel our pain within the body, note our feelings, ask our fleeting thoughts to come back to the here and now, and to really engage every one of our senses.  It does take an element of effort and practice, and initially can even be frustrating as it’s human nature to allow our minds to wander too far without significant training.

Mindfulness has become an essential part of my self care routine.  It is helping me to live more in the moment and in turn build abundance through acts of gratitude.

For me, I often find that I do my best thinking and feel more centred when in nature.  Whether that be by the sea or in the countryside, I always try to take in my surroundings and appreciate the simple pleasures such as the changing seasons, a birds song, a dogs wagging tail or a butterfly resting on a leaf.   Treating the experience with some effort in order to imagine I was using my eyes, ears and touch for the very first time, with the excitement and appreciation an infant would.  I even enjoy using the process to bring awareness and rationality to my feelings and blocks within the body; as they say “when you feel it, you can heal it”.

The official start of Spring will vary from person to person.  Some will see the 1st of March as the start of this abundant season, others witness the turning of the wheel to Imbolc as the seasonal marking, but for me I invite the upgrade with the celebration of the Equinox.  This is when I change the altar within my home and when I feel confident I have fully released and integrated the lessons and blessings of the seasons predecessor.

Spring really is a cycle of liberation and exploration, which encourages us to try new things, to take leaps of faith and above all else to give thanks for our wholeness and our surroundings.  It is the best time to practice mindfulness and gratitude.  Whether that be appreciation for my senses, for my freedom or for the simple pleasure of walking with my best friend Audrey.

I encourage you all to try some mindfulness today by getting outside to take in all that this wonderful season has to offer or by simply laying in stillness as you concentrate on the life giving breath moving freely around the body.

Yours in love and Spring light,

 

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

I have always been cray for Christmas and up until a few years ago I was still acting like an Elf on crack!

Like so many of us, I spent many years buying into the ‘hype’ and chaos at this time of year and continued to actually find it hard to sleep through my excitement on Christmas Eve.  But something my healing journey has surprisingly taken away from me is the spirit of Christmas; to the point where my spirit is well and truly 6 feet under this year!

It died as I began to awaken, and every year that I continue to ascend it means that a little bit of my festive cheer falls away inside.  This was quite a sad reality for me, and this year has been my hardest to face yet, with many tears for what I feel I cannot single-handily change in the world.  With strong Pine Bach tendencies to my nature I instantly beat myself up; asking myself what had happened to make me assume a Grinch-like identity and to lose my love of Yule…had I become too hard after heartache or too removed from my community?

With no festive fancy left in this body, I find myself no longer being able to belt out the hits of Wham! or the original Band Aid as they play in every shop, on every radio station and even in lifts.  I have adopted a more typically ‘male’ approach to present buying, whereby I have left everything to the last minute (and I’m not even affected by that very reality despite usually having all my gifts bought and wrapped by October).  And I wouldn’t honestly care if I spent the entire day alone at home, in my pants and face down in a box of mince pies!

So what changed?

Well, healing for me is about removing the many blankets of BS we have wrapped ourselves in, and about getting back to the very essence of who we are.

You know, all those beliefs that are your parents and not yours, all those labels and restrictions that society like to place upon you in order to keep you subconsciously conforming, and all those heartbreaks and traumas that program you into thinking that you no longer know who you are.

All the things that basically take you off of your true path and put you onto someone else’s; which is hurtling towards a destination you don’t want to go!  They become blankets or layers that stop you being your authentic self, which often means that you become someone who is lost and as a result can find it hard to connect or to understand what is really important to you.  Heck, sometimes it can even feel like you have lost your mind because nothing resonates and you find yourself taking long strolls in spiritual no-mans land, just waiting for something to click!

In my own personal healing journey I have discovered many things that I realise I had forgotten or suppressed about my very character.  My blankets, my labels and my personal restrictions have all contributed to me thinking that I wasn’t the woman who now stands more in her power today than she ever did.  This woman loves nature.  She strives to be the change in the world that she wants to see.  She cares about the environment, the world and the humans and animals who reside in it.  She is wild and a deep shade of Indigo.  She is passionate about equality, individuality, creativity and duality.  She does not tolerate injustice or fake news!

With that in mind, every Christmas has got harder.  For every layer that I remove, I find it is steeped in guilt and sadness.

For every-time I have an overfilled plate of Christmas dinner a thought enters my head about how many bellies are painfully hungry across the world.  Every-time  I open yet another present, I think just how many children or older people do not have one single gift to acknowledge the day.  When the Winter chill fills the room we reach for the radiator thermostat or throw another log on the fire, when there is someone somewhere shivering on the streets for the night.  And when I think of how much love is in my home from friends who visit, family who support me, yuletide cards that adorn my windowsill and cuddles with my little pup, I then think just how many people and animals remain victims of abuse and neglect.  NONE of this sits easy with me, and every year it gets harder to keep up the charade in order to enjoy this one day.

This year, I believe that we will have the highest number of people emotionally struggling with Christmas and all that it entails.  For it is not possible to be ascending as individuals and as a collective alongside the Winter solstice this year and the many opening gateways, and to not take through a desire for change in the world.  When change presents we often go into personal resistance or trauma.  We adopt ‘old’ ways of doing things and we often get reflective or low in mood because it can force us to lose our identities.  Something as magical as Christmas no longer cuts the mustard and we want more.  This year on a global level we have watched plastic in our oceans reach new and alarming heights of appeal, we have seen an advert banned for being ‘too political’ just for showing us the devastation palm oil is having on our forests and we all panic as we head into uncertainty over Brexit!

WE ARE CHANGING.

 

So when you think about it, isn’t it any wonder that so many of us can’t get excited about one day of the year, when so many of us want equality, the end of austerity, animal and human rights to be accelerated to ascended levels and an end to homelessness and poverty?  Christmas is a time of triggers and of bringing out our shadows in many ways, so if like me your Christmas spirit is fading, please see this as a positive that you are ascending.  You are questioning what is now important to you and perhaps flowing into new times.  I have seen so many people change this Christmas.  Shopping locally rather than lining the pockets of tax-evading chains, or cutting down the amount they spend, or simply doing more for charity…which is so great!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that Christmas isn’t a time of deep joy and that we should all sit around feeling guilty.  In fact, your feelings around Christmas that have drawn you to this blog won’t necessarily even echo mine, as your healing journey and authentic self is unique just like mine.  But I am sure if you are reading this then something within you has died too, and you want more.

Simply put, the journey of a fading Christmas spirit can be hard and it can take many years to understand just why it’s happening and what you can personally do about it.  For me, its been to adopt a more ethical Christmas this year in terms of limiting my waste with wrapping presents, asking Santa for gifts that ‘give back’ to charities and animals, and even just supporting more local projects with a donation or my time.  And whilst at times it still doesn’t feel ‘enough’, I am working on letting it be enough for now.  Letting myself be enough this year.  Without the need to drink, or entertain the family, or even running around visiting everyone as my body craves rest and integration this year.

 

So this Christmas, to help any dwindling spirit and cheer, put yourself first.  Do what you need to do, free of guilt.  Your inner voice needs to be acknowledged more than ever this year in order to avoid the blues.

What is your heart and soul asking of you?  What does Christmas really mean to your authentic self?

Wishing you all so much love at this difficult time of year.

Yours in love and festive light,

 

 

 

A Christmas Wish (a poem by Ami Smart)

This year I don’t want gadgets, gifts, money or rings; I want change, I want peace, I want all manner of things

I want orangutans to have homes and bears to stop dancing.  I want tigers to be free and caged dogs to stop fighting

I want no more lotions or potions to hit each shop, for animal testing and cruelty simply has to stop!

Plastic in our oceans and deforestation, please Santa, hear my cries and save our nation

For this year I see that I am beyond blessed!  For I have a family, friends and a safe place to rest

I have freedom and voice, I have wellness and a dog; but I can’t help but cry when I think of the ole’ hedgehog

For she roams at night with no place to bind, in search of food and kindness from each human she’ll find

Santa, my darling, I can cry no more.  I cannot do this alone, and I don’t mean to be a bore

But today as I was writing my usually long list, I realised I have everything I need but just one wish

To sleep on Christmas knowing that all animals are happy; that they have beds for the night and bellies full of Chappie!

So please send me vouchers for Greenpeace and not the high street, for my heart can’t take another year of riding on this global backseat

I want change TODAY and I want animal freedom…so please help me Santa to build a happier kingdom?

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

Foreword by Ami Smart of Honeysuckle Healing:

Welcome everybody to the first Guest Blog of the year!

With the Winter Solstice, Yule and Christmas seeming a distant memory already, we pack up the decorations for another year and put on thicker jumpers to get through the increasingly colder days and nights as we find ourselves in January and in 2018!

January’s Honeysuckle News has had a theme of taking care of ourselves and bringing patience and kindness to our lives, as we head into the month that can bring a bit of a lull and anti-climax, as well as evoke a lot of emotions and self administered pressures to ‘perfect’ ourselves in some ways.

That said, I am so pleased to welcome Aubrey to this months Guest Corner who is a hypnotherapist, counsellor and generally beautiful lady.  I met the lovely Aubrey at a meditation circle some time ago and I can’t remember if it was her amazing tattoos or her amazing energy that I was drawn to first! Needless to say I was hooked as soon as I met her, and knew that this was a good egg that I needed to get to know.

I have personally sampled both Counselling and Hypnotherapy with Aubrey, both of which have been fundamental on my own healing journey and helped me to be where I am today.  I utilised hypnotherapy with Aubrey before running the Bristol 10K and know this positivity and change in mind-set kept my legs turning through the pain, alongside my Reiki and Bach remedies.

This month, Aubrey talks about seasonal affective disorder (otherwise known as SAD) and just how common it can be amongst us all at this time of year.  As with all guests who kindly write for Honeysuckle News, Aubrey brings with her some empowering tools, which help us to recognise and in turn manage this disorder should it resonate with you.  I really enjoyed reading this blog and it definitely gave me some seasonal tips and food for thought.

Heartfelt thanks to Aubrey for bringing her skills to our guest spot this month.

With love and new year blessings,

 

 

 

 

January Guest Corner

Q&A With Aubrey Dye-Welch

 

‘Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)’

 

What is SAD?

SAD is the abbreviation for Season Affective Disorder, which is a condition that affects our mood and can present in many ways.   SAD can feel like depression; low mood, low energy, negative thoughts and lack of motivation. However, it can also present as increased anxiety, insomnia, feeling overwhelmed, or having mood swings. 

Isn’t SAD something we all get at this time of year?

Knowing whether it’s a problem for you is really about noticing if your ‘normal’ changes for the worse when the days get shorter.  Things may just start to feel harder for some people, with symptoms and ability to ‘cope’ worsening for those affected by it.

What are the common symptoms of SAD we should be aware of?

Aside from the already mentioned, common symptoms are:

  • irritability
  • feelings of despair, guilt and worthlessness
  • low self-esteem
  • tearfulness
  • lack of sex drive
  • less sociable
  • difficulty concentrating
  • have an increased appetite or craving for carbohydrates

 

Is it a physical or mental health issue?

So, is something happening in your body to make these changes occur?

The truth is, doctors aren’t 100% sure what causes SAD. However, they have a pretty good idea that it’s linked to the amount of natural sunlight we are getting. We get vitamin D from sunlight, and without enough vitamin D, we can’t produce the hormones (such as serotonin) which make us feel happy or relaxed. So, in summary, SAD is both a physical and mental health issue. As a result, the best treatments will address both problems.

How do you know if you have SAD?

I think it must’ve taken me a few years, a few cycles of experiencing it, before I realised I suffered from SAD. In fact, the term was probably mentioned to me several times before I really took notice. Largely, it is understood that SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder, is when the changing of the seasons makes you feel depressed or tired; but it is so much more than that.

The best way to find out is to start keeping a diary, and then to ask your GP or therapist. It’s a very difficult disorder to diagnose, so it may be several seasonal cycles of experiencing the symptoms before you can be sure it’s SAD and not another condition. Luckily, most of the treatments for SAD are things you can try yourself, and that won’t harm you if it turns out to be something else!

What are your tips for feeling better at this time of year?

To help the physical health issue (i.e. try to get more vitamin D), you can:

  • Use light boxes (10,000 lumens; these can be bought online)
  • Take vitamin D tablets
  • Use a sun bed (5 minutes every 2 weeks or so worked for me!)
  • Take walks regularly and sit near windows in the day
  • Light exercise
  • Balance your diet
  • And if you get a diagnosis, you can be prescribed antidepressants to supply your serotonin levels

For the mental health symptoms and energy levels, you can:

  • Use positive affirmations
  • Meditate
  • Have reiki treatments
  • Seek Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
  • Try hypnosis
  • See a counsellor

Overall, what is your advice to help us to take better care of ourselves this Winter?

My advice would be to use your instincts and trust your knowledge of your body; you’ll know what has worked for you in the past, and what you’re naturally drawn to. It’s always good to seek a professional opinion before trying anything you’re not sure about; check out the NHS website, or contact specific holistic practitioners for further information. We are generally helpful and friendly!

In summary, try to take time for yourself over these dark and cold months. Notice any changes and try to address them early enough so that they don’t affect you too much (though an extra nap or two won’t hurt you). Be kind to yourself, and kind to others who may also be finding winter tough. And don’t forget to always ask for help if you need it!

 

Aubrey is a hypnotherapist and counsellor who has been practising for 5 years.  Aubrey offers 1 to 1 sessions, group sessions, and personalized hypnosis recordings Details of her practice and services can be found on her website or for more regular updates you can follow her on Facebook 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

 

Legal disclaimeras always, my guests are invited to share their work with you in order to support your healing journey as a whole, by giving you empowering tips and food for thought.  I only invite guests whom I know to be insured and practising to the best of my knowledge at the time of their guest spot.  I will only welcome guests that I have personally used the services of, and have found to benefit my own individual healing journey as a result.  However, if you choose to book any treatments or use any guests services as a result of my monthly interviews, then please be aware that you act personally on this decision.  Honeysuckle Healing take no responsibility for the outcome of this decision and these guest blogs do not act as a referral or recommendation service.  Please ensure that these guests and services meet your individual requirements prior to booking.  Thank you

 

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