You will know that women of a certain age experience a monthly bleed, but what you may not know is that there is an increasing community of awakening women who are using this cycle in ceremonial offering.

Gross right?  Well, I used to think so to!

I strive to keep the majority of my blog focus on lighter subjects that fall within the holistic spectrum.  If I am unable to do this then I at least try to simplify topics so that they may reach a wider community.  However, every now and again I like to challenge my presence and to witness my own evolution from therapist to channel and from practitioner to goddess.

This is the way that I start to trust my heart’s teachings and to ensure that I adapt to an ever changing audience.   It also acts as a reminder to me that I am transforming, I am awakening and I that I have to sometimes step outside of my comfort zone and away from public acceptance or validation.  I must speak my truth, no matter how ‘weird’ that may initially seem.

Blood offerings are something I never envisioned myself doing, let alone writing about.  It couldn’t be further from the way in which I have been raised or indeed from the shame I naturally carry as a woman.

It has become a practice relatively new to my esoteric and spiritual path and one that I am still learning how to embrace and utilise for my greater good.

My awareness began around 18 months ago when I started travelling a more channelled and goddess inspired route.

I began to move in circles of women who done this religiously each month without a second thought.  I even sat in sharing circles whereby ‘sharing sticks’ adorned with elder women’s last bleed were passed around when someone wished to talk.  What struck me was that after my initial thought of ‘what the hell is going on’, there was no feeling of shame or uncleanliness that stayed with me, and instead a deep respect and gratitude amongst us all.  I was intrigued.

Depending on culture, faith, upbringing and gender, a woman’s menstrual cycle will be something to be celebrated or something to despise.  Some cultures create tents for women to gather and craft during this time and others banish women to outside shacks as if they were carrying an infectious disease.

For many women, dating back as far as our past lives, this natural cycle carries with it an element of shame, a feeling of being unclean and is something we rarely talk about openly.  We even give it names like ‘star week’ for example, to avoid magnifying its power or to save embarrassment to anyone who still winces at the thought of it.  We as women are often unable to feel justifiable anger, upset or strong emotions during our bleed without this being excused as PMT or hormone induced.

With all of these negative connotations is it any wonder that working with your cycle seems grose rather than gorgeous?

 

I have always suffered with menstrual cramps and pain, to the point where I am sure there is an underlying diagnosis I haven’t explored with my GP.   As a result of this life-limiting agony I actually dread my periods as I have to spend the first few days in bed and on strong pain relief.

However, in more recent months since making conscious blood offerings to Gaia I have felt a slight improvement in my experienced pain, and I have actually learnt to embrace my monthly gift.  It has created a change in mindset and given less power to the negative thoughts I have had around my cycle.  Despite any expected discomfort, I now actually look forward to being able to offer this in some way and to be source-led to new destinations or ways in which to do this.  Even more so if this falls on a significant lunar rhythm or astrological event, for I see this as a magnified value.

What really changed for me was when a few months ago I was 4 weeks late.  After realising that unless I was expecting the second coming of Jesus, I may be facing the end of my cycle.  I will turn 36 next month and whilst I may still be considered a little ‘young’ to be pre-menopausal, I was experiencing many symptoms which could have indicated that my time was indeed running out.

The thought of this actually made me sad.   I felt robbed!  I had only just discovered this sacred gift, this womanly power if you like, and so it seemed a grave shame to be losing it before my journey had even really begun.  My initial thought was that I wished someone had told me about this sooner, and that my awakening happened earlier so I may have utilised this ceremonial tool.

I believe that a woman’s bleed, whether it’s her first or her last, is a natural wonder to be celebrated and is infact gorgeous.  It’s a reminder of our strength and our synchronised connection with the moon.  For those interested in understanding an energy duality, I believe this is the aspect that helps us to connect to our divine feminine, which when working with rather than against can create balance.

I no longer feel ashamed to talk about it openly without nickname.  I will now be fully embracing this part of my body’s function, and seeing this as a uniquely divine gift I can bring to my ceremonial offerings and ancestral connection.

My crimson journey is of course in it’s infancy and I am human!   Every now and again when I am called to give blood with nearby spectators then my ego will kick in and I will do it all a bit cloak and dagger, as awakening is never easy and some days others opinions cut deeper.  But this act is no longer something I see as grose.  It is no longer something that makes me feel unclean or less of a person because of my presenting gender.  I see it as a powerful connection to Gaia, which can only come as a result of being a woman.  A woman in tune with her body, in tune with the moon and in tune with the land.

This needn’t be something to shout about, but it’s also no longer about suppressing an inherent and natural birth right.

If you take this route then it is something I feel you have to appreciate may warrant a few raised eyebrows and your family and friends perhaps thinking you have finally gone round the spiritual bend!  But for those ready to rise from the shadows, it is an act of self connection, self mastery and  I believe deep awakening.

If this blog speaks to you on any level, even if that is a trigger into thinking it’s more grose than gorgeous, then just try it.  See it as a way of ridding yourself of inherited shame as a woman and of inviting goddess empowerment into your life.

Yours in love and light,

 

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

We read blogs all the time about how to combat the blues or to enhance mental health, with access to nature being perhaps one of the top suggestions in every publication.

I have to agree that being ‘out and about’ is my personal number one mood booster, with walking Audrey on a weekend being my favourite thing to do.

When we are lucky enough to have our health we often take ‘being in nature’ for granted; for something as simple as a walk to the end of the street, a scenic bike ride or even a drive around the countryside can be enough to lift a temporary depression when you have been cooped up in the house or hospital for days, weeks and even months.

I’ve been there during hot summers when it feels like everyone is out having fun whilst I am led in bed feeling completely drained, or during the winter when pain and social anxiety are at their hardest to manage.  It’s a daily battle not to let it get you down when you feel like the world is passing you by and you forget what it feels like to hear a birds song on an afternoon stroll, to smell wildflowers on your travels or to dip your toes into the sea.

As a result this often makes said blogs and mood boosting suggestions accessible to a healthy majority, but with a very real exclusion of a struggling minority.   These publications are often only written from a viewpoint of someone who cannot appreciate the barriers to accessing nature, when you may have a chronic physical or mental health condition to consider or a limited number of daily spoons!*

Not all disabilities are visible, which means that sometimes using mobility aids or a blue badge are still not enough of a support to get someone out of the house.  Which means we have to get inventive and find ways to bring the outside in.

This got me thinking what do you do if your chronic illness stops you from accessing nature?  What on earth are you supposed to do when nature is all you crave and your preference is a natural antidepressant?

I’m a fan of the old ‘5 tips’ as it often makes an overwhelming task more manageable and means there isn’t much to sift through before finding something that works for you!

Walking Audrey through Snuff Mills today this blog idea came to me, and as a result I just had to share my top 5 tips with you all:

1 Create an Altar

On your ‘better’ days try to gather as much flora and fauna as you can from holidays, day trips or even local walks.  If you are unable to leave the house at all then ask a carer or someone else to collect items for you.

Gathering shells and pebbles from beaches, pine cones, bark and fallen leaves from the woods or even seasonal flowers and fruits from local shops are all a way of bringing the outside inside.  Creating an altar, which can be as big or as small as your surroundings will allow, is a great way to have a nature inspired focal point, a place to connect to the outdoors and invoke a temple of peace when you are stuck indoors.

Remember there is no right or wrong – create a place that is a combination of collected fresh and artificial treasures and get imaginative!  It should be a scene that evokes the thought and feeling of being in nature for you, so go with what you are drawn to in order to get the most from it.  This will be a site that you can use for meditation and Gaia connection.

2 Get wild with your decor

Decorating your room or your home with nature inspired prints, wallpapers and fabrics is another great way of feeling surrounded by nature.

Taking photos on holiday, day trips or even in your own back yard and framing them or creating scrapbooks and collages will all help to bring memories and nature to life.

You can treat yourself to some paintings or prints online that make you smile or feel as if you were amongst the scene itself.  Where possible, perhaps even get creative and paint your own wild art!

If you particularly miss travelling due to illness then get friends and loved ones to send postcards of natural wonders from around the world that you can place around your home.

3 Invite round some birds

One of the easiest ways to feel connected to nature is to witness it going about its business, freely.

Birds are fantastic to observe for they don’t take much persuading to come into your garden and can provide hours of entertainment with a perspective of the outside on rainy or difficult days.

Placing inexpensive bird feeders, baths for them to take a splash in or even adding bug hotels will send out an invite to all feathered and winged friends that you’re hosting a nature party…and they’re all invited!

There are many DIY bird, bee and bug feeding station ideas online, which can keep you further entertained and involved in helping these beauties.

4 Adopt an animal or support a wildlife charity

There are many charities out there doing great work to support the preservation of wildlife; from trees to turtles and hedgerows to hedgehogs!

Find a charity in your area or a cause that sings to your heart and support them physically on any ‘good’ days or financially from the comfort of your own home – most of them are happy with a small donation of whatever you can afford.

I joined the RSPB last year and I love getting their seasonal magazine as it is filled with beautiful photos as well as ideas of how I can encourage more birds and wildlife into my garden.  They also host The Big Garden Bird Watch each year, which is another easy way to interact with nature and runs later this month from 26th to 28th January.  You can sign up online or for a pack here

Most charities will send regular updates that include publications, photos and alike – all of which will keep you feeling connected and like you are doing your bit for nature.

5 Aroma-nature-therapy

One of the biggest stimulants of nature is the aroma’s; which if blindfolded you are likely to be able to tell whether you are by the sea or in the woods and whether it’s Spring or Winter!

Mother nature is beautiful, as are her scents.  From freshly cut grass, damp woodland, a perfumed rose garden or an earthy pine tree our natural experience is enhanced.

You can invite these smells into your home as another way of feeling like you’re amongst it.  Add this with a CD of bird song, whale calls or a guided meditation through nature and you have yourself quite the setting.

Essential oils, making your own deodorants and lotions, incense, room and aura sprays and alike are great ways to do this.  As is adding fresh flowers or scented foraged treats to your altar (step 1).

This is of course magnified if you are lucky enough to have access to a garden whereby you can create a sensory patch with clever growing and scented plant placement.

 

There are many ways in which chronic illness can still be considered when accessing nature, which is no doubt a very important tool for the Spoonie community.  This blog is aimed at sharing just some of the ways in which the physical, mental and emotional barriers can be broken down, but I appreciate that you too might have your own ways you would like to share with me.

A lot of the obstacles to accepting an illness is mind-set, and allowing ourselves to grieve for the ways in which we used to do something whilst maintaining enough positivity and hope to find new ways to replace the old.

Never stop believing that anything is possible, and please do use these tips for the days when the garden gate seems as far away as San Fran’s Golden Gate!

Yours in love and light,

 

 

*explanation of the spoon theory here

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

 

 

I have always been cray for Christmas and up until a few years ago I was still acting like an Elf on crack!

Like so many of us, I spent many years buying into the ‘hype’ and chaos at this time of year and continued to actually find it hard to sleep through my excitement on Christmas Eve.  But something my healing journey has surprisingly taken away from me is the spirit of Christmas; to the point where my spirit is well and truly 6 feet under this year!

It died as I began to awaken, and every year that I continue to ascend it means that a little bit of my festive cheer falls away inside.  This was quite a sad reality for me, and this year has been my hardest to face yet, with many tears for what I feel I cannot single-handily change in the world.  With strong Pine Bach tendencies to my nature I instantly beat myself up; asking myself what had happened to make me assume a Grinch-like identity and to lose my love of Yule…had I become too hard after heartache or too removed from my community?

With no festive fancy left in this body, I find myself no longer being able to belt out the hits of Wham! or the original Band Aid as they play in every shop, on every radio station and even in lifts.  I have adopted a more typically ‘male’ approach to present buying, whereby I have left everything to the last minute (and I’m not even affected by that very reality despite usually having all my gifts bought and wrapped by October).  And I wouldn’t honestly care if I spent the entire day alone at home, in my pants and face down in a box of mince pies!

So what changed?

Well, healing for me is about removing the many blankets of BS we have wrapped ourselves in, and about getting back to the very essence of who we are.

You know, all those beliefs that are your parents and not yours, all those labels and restrictions that society like to place upon you in order to keep you subconsciously conforming, and all those heartbreaks and traumas that program you into thinking that you no longer know who you are.

All the things that basically take you off of your true path and put you onto someone else’s; which is hurtling towards a destination you don’t want to go!  They become blankets or layers that stop you being your authentic self, which often means that you become someone who is lost and as a result can find it hard to connect or to understand what is really important to you.  Heck, sometimes it can even feel like you have lost your mind because nothing resonates and you find yourself taking long strolls in spiritual no-mans land, just waiting for something to click!

In my own personal healing journey I have discovered many things that I realise I had forgotten or suppressed about my very character.  My blankets, my labels and my personal restrictions have all contributed to me thinking that I wasn’t the woman who now stands more in her power today than she ever did.  This woman loves nature.  She strives to be the change in the world that she wants to see.  She cares about the environment, the world and the humans and animals who reside in it.  She is wild and a deep shade of Indigo.  She is passionate about equality, individuality, creativity and duality.  She does not tolerate injustice or fake news!

With that in mind, every Christmas has got harder.  For every layer that I remove, I find it is steeped in guilt and sadness.

For every-time I have an overfilled plate of Christmas dinner a thought enters my head about how many bellies are painfully hungry across the world.  Every-time  I open yet another present, I think just how many children or older people do not have one single gift to acknowledge the day.  When the Winter chill fills the room we reach for the radiator thermostat or throw another log on the fire, when there is someone somewhere shivering on the streets for the night.  And when I think of how much love is in my home from friends who visit, family who support me, yuletide cards that adorn my windowsill and cuddles with my little pup, I then think just how many people and animals remain victims of abuse and neglect.  NONE of this sits easy with me, and every year it gets harder to keep up the charade in order to enjoy this one day.

This year, I believe that we will have the highest number of people emotionally struggling with Christmas and all that it entails.  For it is not possible to be ascending as individuals and as a collective alongside the Winter solstice this year and the many opening gateways, and to not take through a desire for change in the world.  When change presents we often go into personal resistance or trauma.  We adopt ‘old’ ways of doing things and we often get reflective or low in mood because it can force us to lose our identities.  Something as magical as Christmas no longer cuts the mustard and we want more.  This year on a global level we have watched plastic in our oceans reach new and alarming heights of appeal, we have seen an advert banned for being ‘too political’ just for showing us the devastation palm oil is having on our forests and we all panic as we head into uncertainty over Brexit!

WE ARE CHANGING.

 

So when you think about it, isn’t it any wonder that so many of us can’t get excited about one day of the year, when so many of us want equality, the end of austerity, animal and human rights to be accelerated to ascended levels and an end to homelessness and poverty?  Christmas is a time of triggers and of bringing out our shadows in many ways, so if like me your Christmas spirit is fading, please see this as a positive that you are ascending.  You are questioning what is now important to you and perhaps flowing into new times.  I have seen so many people change this Christmas.  Shopping locally rather than lining the pockets of tax-evading chains, or cutting down the amount they spend, or simply doing more for charity…which is so great!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that Christmas isn’t a time of deep joy and that we should all sit around feeling guilty.  In fact, your feelings around Christmas that have drawn you to this blog won’t necessarily even echo mine, as your healing journey and authentic self is unique just like mine.  But I am sure if you are reading this then something within you has died too, and you want more.

Simply put, the journey of a fading Christmas spirit can be hard and it can take many years to understand just why it’s happening and what you can personally do about it.  For me, its been to adopt a more ethical Christmas this year in terms of limiting my waste with wrapping presents, asking Santa for gifts that ‘give back’ to charities and animals, and even just supporting more local projects with a donation or my time.  And whilst at times it still doesn’t feel ‘enough’, I am working on letting it be enough for now.  Letting myself be enough this year.  Without the need to drink, or entertain the family, or even running around visiting everyone as my body craves rest and integration this year.

 

So this Christmas, to help any dwindling spirit and cheer, put yourself first.  Do what you need to do, free of guilt.  Your inner voice needs to be acknowledged more than ever this year in order to avoid the blues.

What is your heart and soul asking of you?  What does Christmas really mean to your authentic self?

Wishing you all so much love at this difficult time of year.

Yours in love and festive light,

 

 

 

A Christmas Wish (a poem by Ami Smart)

This year I don’t want gadgets, gifts, money or rings; I want change, I want peace, I want all manner of things

I want orangutans to have homes and bears to stop dancing.  I want tigers to be free and caged dogs to stop fighting

I want no more lotions or potions to hit each shop, for animal testing and cruelty simply has to stop!

Plastic in our oceans and deforestation, please Santa, hear my cries and save our nation

For this year I see that I am beyond blessed!  For I have a family, friends and a safe place to rest

I have freedom and voice, I have wellness and a dog; but I can’t help but cry when I think of the ole’ hedgehog

For she roams at night with no place to bind, in search of food and kindness from each human she’ll find

Santa, my darling, I can cry no more.  I cannot do this alone, and I don’t mean to be a bore

But today as I was writing my usually long list, I realised I have everything I need but just one wish

To sleep on Christmas knowing that all animals are happy; that they have beds for the night and bellies full of Chappie!

So please send me vouchers for Greenpeace and not the high street, for my heart can’t take another year of riding on this global backseat

I want change TODAY and I want animal freedom…so please help me Santa to build a happier kingdom?

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

For many, they remember remember the 5th of November as an exciting time to create warming fires and let off dazzling fireworks, but for our little fur babies and for many wild animals I am sure this is the time of year they dread!

Loud bangs, unexpected light flashes and pre-lit bonfires looking like cosy places to nest are all something that require our human intervention and compassion in order to help our animal friends safely through this time of year.

Now, I don’t claim to be an animal behaviour expert, but I do claim to be the devoted Mum to one gorgeous fur baby!  My motherly role has led me to almost speak ‘Yorkshire Terrier’ and I have built quite the toolkit to help my little Audrey in times of illness or distress.   These life skills, together with being a qualified Reiki and Bach flower practitioner have given me handy tools when trying to instil calm and order to the legend that is Audrey-Cherry Puppington The 1st!

With that in mind, I have compiled my top 5 tried and tested tips to help your pets through their most scarily-anticipated season

 

1) Utilise Bach Flower Remedies

Rescue Remedy (also known as 5 flower essence and recovery remedy) is a great place to start with frightened and unnerved pets.  If the area you live in is anything like Bristol, fireworks start and end a good week or so before and after the main event.  Therefore, I like to start Audrey on Rescue Remedy at least a week before November 5th.

Dosage: The guidance on this will vary, depending on the books you reference for research, but Bach approved courses will teach you the following.  It is perfectly safe to use the remedy which contains alcohol in the same dosage you would a human, 4 drops 4 times a day or as and when needed.  My wonderful teacher Celia, always says “it’s the same dose for a mouse as it is an elephant”, which I always like to share as an easy tool for remembering dosage in animals.  Where possible add this to a treat or in water, ideally diluted in the case of smaller breeds, birds and animals I find.

If your pet is of a general nervous disposition, you can obtain more information about specific remedies from books such as ‘Bach Flower Remedies For Animals’ (Ball & Howard) or by searching for qualified BFRAP’s (Bach Foundation Registered Animal Practitioners) in your area here

 

2) Create A Cosy Environment

Creating a warm, safe and relaxing environment is key.

Keeping cats indoors (tape up those cat flaps!) and where possible bringing other animals inside.   A lot of cats and dogs like to hide, so creating a den or ‘shelter’ within the home will help them to relax and escape the noise.  Soft lamps and drawn curtains can help to block out some of the flashing lights, and this is especially useful if you cannot be home to comfort your furry friend.

I use an ‘iCalm Dog’ and ‘Through A Dogs Ear’ music system, which is a small speaker with classical music that has been tone simplified to meet the sensitivity of canine’s ears.

Audrey loves hers and they now seem to be available for cats and in portable form.  Not the cheapest of options, but I have found worth the investment.  I purchased mine from a local specialist pet shop, but they are also available online.

 

3) Be An Understanding And Interactive Pal

It’s not uncommon for pets to be noisier than usual or to even forget their toilet training during this season!

Try to be more patient at this time, re-framing from shouting at them or sending them to the naughty step.

If possible, try and be home during the firework festivities so as to provide hugs and distractions with toys and games.

Audrey likes interactive games such as this one where she gets to find treats beneath – it keeps her entertained for a while, although she is far too clever for her own good now!

 

4) Keep Calm And Have A Treat

As Audrey is a bit of a diva, she has a particular pallet not to mention a sensitive tummy so we always use the Pooch and Mutt treat range as they are wheat free, ethical and natural, so both of our belief systems and needs are met.

We use the pale Purple tube ‘calm and relaxed’, which is really helpful for this time due to its chamomile and serotonin boosting ingredients.

Especially helpful when topped with a couple of drops of rescue remedy or placed in her flower Kong for extra distraction!

 

5) Provide A Blanket Of Love And Light

For those attuned to Reiki or equivalent, energy healing can be a great way to soothe animals during times such as these. Healing hands can create calm and restore a balance of emotions.

Like me, many practitioners will offer distance healing packages whereby they can send Reiki (or equivalent) to animals worldwide, meaning that they don’t need to be in the same room to soak up this energy.

If you’re not working as a channel, don’t worry – a comforting embrace of your pet together with a positive intention will do the trick!  You can even place calming crystals such as Rose Quartz around their beds or hold the crystal in one hand whilst you lay your other hand on your distressed fur baby.

Setting loving intentions and affirmations whilst cradling your pet, and even visualising your fur babies in a blanket of healing light with colours such as Pink, White and even Blue being particularly restorative, will help to make them feel safe and loved.

 

These are just a few of my tried and tested tips as a devoted Mum, but this list is by no means exhaustive and I would like to stress that I am not advertising or affiliated with any of the products I have mentioned. Further tips can be found from helpful vets (mine have a brilliant blog for the occasion) and I have also found great support from local re-homing centres and animal charities – I recommend finding the equivalent in your area.

I don’t have a caged animal such as a rabbit or smaller, or a farm or wild animal, but I would imagine this can be a bit of an ordeal for them too, especially those left outside with nowhere to hide from the sounds and sights.  If you’re unable to bring your pet indoors or don’t fancy snuggling up in front of the TV with your cow or chicken, then get them on the Rescue Remedy and send them love and light!

Finally, remember hedgehogs this firework night and rebuild bonfires before lighting.  They can be a very cosy home to these lovely little critters and their amphibian friends so keep your eyes peeled and create alternative homes for them.

Be safe and enjoy the celebrations.

Yours in love and sparkly-light

 

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

I haven’t felt too well of late, despite my usual brave face and positive demeanour.

The Summer always exasperates my health complaints and means I spend more time at home than any person in their early 30’s would be happy to spend!  This means that Netflix and binged boxsets become my best mates during this difficult season.

Recently I’ve discovered ‘Wentworth’, and if hot to trot Franky Doyle wasn’t reason enough to keep me glued, then the heart-racing story-lines sure are!  Watching the amazing acting from Pamela Rabe (as I literally HATED her Governing character) I realised something, as I always do when sticking with a story or scenario for too long.  See, I learn most of my lessons from the simplest of tasks.  Everyday triggers become huge ‘wake up calls’.  Arguments with those closest to me become scenarios for self-analysis and development.  And even a TV program or cinematic flick can give me deep insights into the characteristics and emotions that I need to balance.

Wentworth taught me I need to revisit Impatiens Bach remedy and to practice a little more patience!

As my fave character Franky battles with a belly full of heroin in season 3, I just couldn’t wait until the end of the episode to find out her fate.  The sheer thought of continuing another season without the sight of this little beaut was just too much to bear!  So I Googled desperately to find out if Miss Doyle will live to fight another day on the inside.  But during my search it became less about Franky and more about me and my tendencies to spoil the surprise of life.   After all, why was I doing this, as isn’t the whole reason we watch TV so that we can escape our reality and to get lost in a plot of emotive viewing?

During my eager search I heard a loud voice, which I wasn’t sure if it came from above or within.  It said ‘patience, control, flow’, which I knew was a clear message that I needed to take heed of.  As I tried to decipher the message, I quickly realised that the warning was that I must master the art of patience, relent control and learn to live in flow.  Something as simple as trying to sabotage my own storybook surprises served as a thought provoking thunderbolt in my approach to my own reality.  I can’t wait, I like to know what’s coming next, and that’s just me!

I believe that Impatiens is one of the sacred tools needed by everyone on a serious journey of healing and awakening.  For it’s human nature to want quick results when we start anything, and to particularly want to move as fast as possible through our own ascensions and lessons.  When we aren’t where we want to be or situations aren’t moving at a pace we’re comfortable with, then that’s when we start interfering due to frustration or the need to control.  A simple Google search during an Aussie prison drama reminded me of that.

When you start to take notice of the signs and syncronicities around you then literally everything becomes a learning tool.  All acts, even those of escapism, hobby or ways to pass the time provide some of the greatest healing apparatus.  I share this blog because my approach to healing is not only about giving my clients and followers the tools to help themselves, but the dedication to ‘keep it real’ whilst doing it.  I understand that all of us will be at a different point on our unique journey, and that not everyone understands or resonates with the real ‘airy fairy’ side to healing or spirituality.

So the lesson here (as well as maybe check out Wentworth if you’re looking for a viewing recommendation), is to take note of what you are drawn to.  Pay attention to the types of programs or music you are moved by and see if you can notice any occurrences, triggers or characteristics that mirror your own.  This is yet another simple, but very valuable part of any journey of change and evolution.

When we know what we do, we can change what we do.

Yours in love and light,

 

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

This week I proudly announced that I was going vegan!

Whilst this is a decision I feel I have been building up to all my life, following 24 years as a vegetarian, I find myself now only 6 days in and rapidly regretting that statement.

I knew it wasn’t, and isn’t, going to be an easy process, especially as I am a cheese-aholic and have recently gained a bit of an addiction to corner shop convenience.  But this decision was almost taken out of my hands by divine guidance, as it’s a way of life that I now know is necessary to best support my physical and spiritual health.

Being an empath, and I don’t just mean an empathetic person, I feel things deeper than ever now, which extends of course to the animal kingdom.  The guilt I have been feeling as I connect without intention to nature, has been nothing short of unbearable.  I have been feeling their cries as if they were my own, which has actually been keeping me awake at night.  So ‘veganism’ is something that I have been taking many steps towards for some time; whilst beating myself up for every day that I haven’t been able to do it.  “I should have known better” I told myself as I took my new Bach mix this evening, containing Pine (for the critical self talk) and Chestnut Bud (for not learning from my mistakes).

Like everyone I have grown up with labels all my life, and I’m not just talking about the obvious ones such as my gender at birth.  Labels like ‘needy’, ‘sensitive’ and ‘difficult’ are just some of the negative tags that I’ve carried and fought against to date.  And no matter what I do to change or evolve, they just never seem to fully dissolve from the opinions of those I love.

By the age of 35, still a baby some kind souls might say, I have 6 labels attached to me that I know of.  To make matters worse, all of these labels come from a minority group, with half of which being recorded strands on the Equality Act.

I read a book by Mel Wells not so long ago called The Goddess Revolution.  In that book I remember being inspired by a section where Mel states (unquoted), that she chooses to say she tries to follow a plant based way of life when asked about her diet.  I could appreciate Mel’s unwillingness to put herself in a box clearly marked ‘vegan’.  As her decision to do so would have instantly placed a restrictive label upon her, and an imaginary bar that she would strive to reach for the rest of her life.  See, when we give ourselves labels, we give others the power to judge us and to criticise our choices.  When you’re at the start of any journey, and a flawed human being like everyone else out there, you just don’t need that level of peer pressure.  As chances are if you’re anything like me, then you are good enough at judging and berating yourself without the help of anyone else.

I have felt an incredible pressure on myself this week, some self administered and some no doubt from the critics I have out there just waiting for me to fail.  I haven’t felt at all liberated by my decision to go Vegan and instead I feel imprisoned and hugely dis-empowered.  If anything, this additional label will be one of the reasons I am likely to relapse and tuck into a chunk of cheese (mmmm, cheese) or a square of Dairy Milk!

I already feel angry with myself for adding yet another daily battle to my already difficult days.  A war that I no longer feel I can fight in private, as my announcement took the opportunity to tackle this huge life change day by day and at my own pace away from me.  I feel as though I have another lifestyle choice that is open to opinion, to scrutiny and a pre-conceived and timed expectation from others.  Oh jeez Ami, what were you thinking girl?!

Last year I had a new tattoo, and whilst sat in the hot-seat I witnessed a nearby conversation with a fellow ink junkie.  I remember hearing them discuss ‘bloody vegetarians’ who go around with these strong opinions whilst wearing leather Dr Martens!  I remember having to bite my lip so as not to say anything, as it just didn’t feel like my counter-argument would go down too well.  But all the time I was thinking ‘how dare you’ pass judgement on people who are trying their best to make positive changes in the welfare of animals.  For these Doc Marten loving veggies could well have bought those shoes second hand, or have every intention of replacing them when they get past a few months of their overwhelming new regime.  Perhaps they haven’t bought the handbook on ‘how to be the perfect vegetarian’, or perhaps they have only purchased volume one of the series.  You just never know what’s behind someone’s story, so should we really be judging others who are trying their best, and lets face it, doing far more than these meat eating tattooed dudes were!

What’s more, a few years ago , after having always been very distinctively ‘vintage’ in my appearance, I started wearing jeans.   Following a break up, one that was quite controlled in the length of my hair and the clothes in which I could wear, I met a friend for coffee wearing something that I guess was quite ‘masculine’ and plain from what she was used to seeing me in.  I will never forget that this ‘friend’ made a comment about how I didn’t look like me and she didn’t like it.  Given that following a break up always equals cutting off all your hair and trying to look the total opposite of what you looked like when you were with said partner, I was crushed.  Especially as I already felt I had lost my identity.  Right there became another label, the ‘vintage label.’  One that I am still trying to liberate myself from today, when I choose an outfit on my more ‘masculine’ days.  Oh, and all whilst being mindful not to look ‘too gay’…so as to be sure I really don’t offend (said with sarcasm!)

And that’s just it.  The moment you give yourself a label you are open to judgement.  You leave yourself wide open to ridicule, and find yourself having to justify everything you do that just doesn’t meet others strong opinions or expectations of who you told them you would be.

I have gone on a real journey with labels recently.  Rebelling against them and trying to find cruel acts of self-sabotage and defiance whilst I act from a place of pain or unworthiness.  My Indigo nature has wanted to revisit and re-brand all of these labels, even the basic ones such as gender and sexuality, and turn them on their head…just to piss everyone off and give them something to talk about if nothing else!  But all I have done is hurt myself as a result, and moved further away from the empowering points of why I shared these expressed characteristics in the first place.

I’m so fed up of being defined by the restraints of my health, who I fancy, what I eat and what gender I class myself as to name but a few.  And that’s not because anything has changed since I’ve given myself these labels, infact quite the opposite, but more so because I no longer want to live in a world of labels just to make other people feel comfortable about how to address me, cook for me or explain who I am to others in social situations.

I am not these labels.  They do not define me.  But they do seem to limit me.

So whilst I begin my new Bach mix complete with Centaury, which no doubt will help me reassert and redefine myself (much to those around me’s disgust); as of today I am removing my labels!

I do not want to call myself anything, unless it feels right to do so for me at the time, and I no longer feel the need to explain myself to anyone anymore.  My actions whilst I grow, find my authentic self and reawaken my truth mean that I am sometimes going to get things ‘wrong’ and I am going to go against all of the textbook meanings I have set for myself.

Some labels are inevitable, and I am ok with that.  In fact I believe that in the fight against labels we often end up giving ourselves more.  So my hope is that by loosening the restraints of my own identities and pigeon-holes then I will actually be able to live more in flow and more authentically.  Being a lot kinder to myself in the process, especially on the days when it’s an achievement just to be alive and to be me!  However she presents, whoever she kisses and whatever she eats!

Yours in love and light,

 

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

Today I am making the long overdue decision to free myself from perfection.

As I spent the morning in tears, I realised that this emotional eruption has once again all come from this need to be the ‘perfect’ person.  The perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect sister, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect weight, the perfect Mum to one very demanding fur baby, the perfect light-worker and even the perfect loader of the dishwasher….you name it, I want to be perfect at it!  Everything I do is steeped in this deep desire to please, to be liked, to be enough and to some how prove to others that I am worth the air I breathe or their investment, and it is becoming exhausting!

I am not perfect, far from it, and I don’t claim to be.  I make mistakes, I try too hard, I overthink, I care far too much about the feelings and opinions of others and my self-talk is very cruel.  I remember feeling ‘imperfect’ from the age of 2, and different and on the outside every year since that tender age.  Never really sure, even to this date, just why I don’t fit in or just how to channel my shadows and imperfections into something to be proud of.  But what I am now realising is that perfection is an illusion.  Something that can only be represented as a hypothetical carrot that dangles just that tad out of reach in front of you.  Yet the reality is that that carrot is further than you think.  In fact that carrot doesn’t even exist!  Magnify this unrealistic perfection with my Bach type being ‘Pine’, and you have a recipe for disaster.  For when I feel less than perfect or a situation doesn’t quite go to plan then I will revert to my tendency to blame myself and to punish myself by moving that perfect carrot even further away from my reach.

Perfection comes from a source of comparison.  If you didn’t compare the beautiful rose to the rose with noticeable marks and defects then you wouldn’t even know what a beautiful rose was.  For every rose would be on an equal playing field and beautiful in its own right, just as it is.  The rose becomes flawed and criticised because it doesn’t shape up to its blooming neighbour.  And here lies the problem.  Stop the comparisons and you therefore stop the ideal of what perfection is.

Sure we all need to strive to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be, but does that mean striving for perfection?

What does perfection even look like anyway?
Does it have a colour, a face, a name, an identity, a certain size body, or perhaps a minimum amount of tasks that we should excel in?  Is there such a thing as the perfect skill or talent to validate our placement on the Perfect-ometer? When you reach perfection do you graduate with some kind of honours and a certificate that tells the world you did it, you achieved a perfect state.  NO!  of course not.  And that’s why it seems madness that so many of us want to be perfect, when we already know full well that there is no such destination as “Perfectsville” and perfection is simply subjective and a state of peace within ourselves.  It’s a ridiculous notion that so many of us hold on to and today I have decided I am ending my relationship with it and I am starting an affair with being perfectly imperfect!

I have lost count of the number of years that I have tried to be what I thought I needed to be.  I have behaved in ways that danced to everyone else’s tune apart from my own, and as a result I have reinvented myself time and time again following what felt like failure.  And when you strive for perfection, the fall is always that much harder to take.  I simply decided today that I cannot cry any more tears or mourn the loss of the ‘perfect Ami.’  I cannot feel that I am less than acceptable as a human because of how someone else see’s me or interprets my words or behaviours.  I cannot strive to be this being of light who doesn’t hurt, feel pain or have opinions and needs.  I am human, and albeit a human in service, I am making mistakes and learning just like everyone else, and that is a fundamental part of life and any healing journey worth being on.

They say that the circles in which you keep make a difference to how you feel.  Surround yourself with positive people and you will feel positive.  Surround yourself with negative people and you will feel negative.  Whilst I agree (particularly as an empath) that the energy around you has a huge affect on your mood and behaviour, I also realised today that if their aren’t nerves to hit then people can’t hit them!  Whilst I am going along, subconsciously striving to be this perfect person who everyone will like, I am exposing myself to harder falls and more criticism.  The main factor there, is that as I feel everything BUT perfect, I am too emotionally reactive and responsive to said criticism and judgements…because these people are only mirroring the negatives I feel about myself and highlighting the flaws in my own perfect plan.  So rather than just be selective of my circles, I need to continue to work on the rawness of my wounds and tend to the idealised perfection that seeps from this opening.  I need to learn to embrace my shadow sides rather than hide them or be ashamed of them.  I need to understand that it’s none of my business what people say or think about me, nor do their opinions and misjudgements define me.  I define me.  I need to be at peace with myself.  I need to find perfection in my wholeness.

Sometimes in a world of modification, air-brushing, filters and show reels it seems as if we are all fighting a losing battle to expose and challenge perfectionism.  For we purchase flowers for our homes that only look ‘perfect’ and like they have plenty of life left in them, celebs continue to have their unique body scars and marks ‘touched up’ in photos in order to appeal to a larger audience and we live in a time when even a fruit or vegetable can be genetically modified or enhanced!  Nothing seems real anymore, so how do we learn to accept our perfectly imperfect selves, when it seems just about everything around us is still so outwardly striving for perfection and a mass market.

It was Dr Seuss who said:

‘Today you are you!  That is truer than true! There is no-one alive who is you-er than you!

How amazing is that quote?! Those simple lines serve as a reminder that we are who we are, and the very fact that there is no one who can be “you-er than you” just shows how perfect and individual we already are.

If you are feeling less than perfect today, please be kind to yourself.  Chances are your light is so much brighter than you could ever imagine, just as you are.

Yours in love and unashamedly imperfect light,

 

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

I have loved and listened to music for as long as I can remember, and today has been a day when I have rekindled my audio love affair.

I grew up in a house mainly listening to anything from Motown to The Carpenters and Aztec Camera to Alison Moyet, all with fond memories of LP’s purchased from Woolworth’s or Rival records at the height of my appreciation.  But the turning point for me was 1999 in Cardiff.  After only attending gigs with my parents or chaperones up to this point, I attended my first ‘proper’ gig on my own.  I was 16, they were Stereophonics, and it was just before ‘Performance and Cocktails’ was released.  Pushing my way with Lisa to the front, only to be almost squashed in a moshing crowd and my friend having her hand cut on some glass, we quickly retreated, slightly petrified but still singing!  It wasn’t the best experience, but the euphoric feeling of live music still resonates every time I listen to that album.

From that moment on I became obsessed with music.  Listening to music before work, during my commute to work via headphones, in my lunch hour and after work when I got home, and if that wasn’t enough I was going to 5 gigs a week and many festivals in my hay day!  I would later go to gigs alone and meet amazing people as a result.  Often I would be buzzing so much after seeing a live band that I would drive my gig buddy home (50 miles round trip) in my old-school mini and even park up outside of his house whilst we talked for a further hour to unwind.  We would talk until the early hours about where Joy Division went wrong (in our opinion) or dissect the latest Elbow album track by track in great detail, and I would still get up for work the next day!  It all seems another lifetime now.

Over the years I guess I lost my connection with music as I knew it.  I got the treble clef tattoo on my wrist covered up and recently sold off the vast majority of my impressive vinyl and CD collection (which wasn’t emotionally easy to do).  The very collection that took presidency to house in every relocation and new relationship I entered; travelling with me as the most precious of cargo.  Some of those ex’s probably wouldn’t even believe that I finally parted with it after all these years, as it was my prize possession.

But things change.  I’ve changed.   Although today I am reminded that music remains ingrained in me.  It’s not about being first to discover the latest underground bands, or recite the order in which the Beatles released their albums anymore, as I realise that those things no longer define or validate how much I love music.  In fact despite the quieter confidence in my musical relationship , my folks still swear that I am the girl you want on your pub quiz team, just in case a music question comes up.  Or they call me into the room when the Eggheads get to the music round.  And I am pretty sure I am the first friend they would call if they were sat opposite Chris Tarrant and there was a question about the Stone Roses!  And that’s because the way in which music moves and excites me did not leave when I gave away my last LP.  Because once you catch the music bug, it never leaves you.  It may go from a hard rock to a soft ballad, but it’s their, like an old flame waiting for you to just say the words to hook up again!

Music is something that we often take for granted just how much it can lift our mood or even communicate with us when those around us just don’t seem to be able to find the words.

Multiple festivals and outside entertainment is now geared around music, as it’s something that we just can’t live without, whether you’re into anything from Mozart to Morrissey or Beethoven to Bowie.  We use it to set ambience during therapies and meditation, to motivate during exercise, to support us through heartache and breakups, to enhance social gatherings and to dance to, amongst many other things.  It’s something that the majority of us turn to when we need to manage any emotion or find connection, as it’s that thing we turn up loud and belt out the words to when we just need a release of feel good hormones.

Music has always been emotive for me, perhaps more than any other tool being an empath.  I have lost myself at many a gig, even crying whilst everyone else is bopping.  I always cry when a drum or bodrum is whipped out in a 1-1 healing session and I have even been deeply triggered by the ‘singing’, or rather whaling, of releasing women in a cave in Avebury.  Music or sound of any sorts is a huge trigger for me, and something that prompts uncensored vulnerability.

Today I let my intuition and my higher guidance show me what I needed to listen to and where this suppressed musical love wanted to take me.  It’s been a day of melodic audio and I have wanted to listen to an array of genres.  As I lay on my bed, candles on and enjoying a moments quiet, I double clicked the ITUNES logo.  I was taken to songs that were as necessary a part of my healing journey as any.  Some of these were songs gifted to me by ex-partners, some were songs that remind me of better times, freer times and evoked deeply nostalgic feelings.  Some songs transported me to where I feel I would like to be.  And some reminded me of where I am pleased I no longer am.  All and all, in the space of an hour I had created my own little sound bath and I released a lot of tears that could only fall as a result of these songs.  Tears that needed to fall for what was, and tears that needed to fall in anticipation for what could be.  Some songs I hadn’t been able to listen to since relationships broke down, until now.  Not because I have any regrets for these relationships ending, or any particular warm thoughts towards these people, but tears for the pain I felt at the time and the promises of love and commitment that never quite transpired.  And that’s what music does.  Those averaged 3 minutes can take you to another time as clearly as if you built a time machine and travelled back to reunite with your younger self.

Music is deeply soothing and the benefits on the chakric system, body and aura are often something we fail to appreciate.  We tend to think that only a huge gong can release pain and trauma within the body or that we need to be held in a room of sound.  But a simple hour out, when you’re ready to witness what needs to be released, can be the perfect and bespoke sound bath you crave.

When we look at the signs in song form, ABBA announced they were thankful for the music, Mama Cass told us that we had to make our own kind of music and Julie Andrews was a little bit in love with the sheer sound of music. And I personally have to agree with John Miles when he said that music was his first love.  So take time out today, and if you haven’t already, put on the first album you lay your hands on, or better still do an ‘intuitive search’ online.  See where it takes you, and don’t just have it as background music, light some candles, spark up the incense and listen to what the words are telling you.  Notice where in the body the notes spark and fall.

On that note (excuse the pun), I’ve an overdue date with Ryan Adams ‘Gold’.

Yours in love and light,

 

 

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

Since discovering the Bach flower remedies I had been too scared to take two remedies; Agrimony and Oak.

Up until recently, after years of working with the system both personally and professionally, I had managed to escape the clutches of these two remedies and convince myself I didn’t need them.

That’s because Agrimony is the remedy for those who wear masks or use forms of escapism to hide their pain, and Oak is for those who feel they need to keep going all the time, even when the need for rest is glaringly obvious.  I had imagined (despite knowing that the Bach remedies do not work in this way) that I wouldn’t be able to use humour as a way to avoid public vulnerability, I wouldn’t be able to appear strong anymore; the way in which those I love need me to be, and I would be forced to stop and rest past a point I could return from, if I took these two tinctures.

But by starting with Agrimony, when I eventually realised that I was holding myself back by means of resisting it, I came to realise that the remedies and energy-work that invite a period of rest can actually be the most beneficial.  I don’t just mean rest in the physical sense, but rest from show reels, abusive coping strategies or even rest from responding re-actively in the moment, as all of those things are exhausting.

When I meet a new client, I will ask them in their initial consultation why they have come to see me and this question often throws people for some reason.

But can you guess what the most common answer is?…

…It’s ‘relaxation!’

 

Yet relaxation is the very thing that so many of us find so hard to do, and even go as far as to sabotage it by finding things to do when we notice that we start to take time out for ourselves or from our ‘duties’.   The vast majority of us even feel as strong a feeling as guilt for taking time out for ourselves or for doing nothing.

I witness so many people in my own community do one of two things when it comes to ‘healing’.  There are those who avoid alternative therapies altogether, perhaps through fear of the unknown, resistance to change, or even sabotaging their own success, and then there are the group of awakening souls who want to try everything!  They want to sit in circles multiple times during the week, do every training course, or attend the opening of a spiritual envelope, all without adequate time for integration of the healing they have encountered or reflection afterwards.

I am not highlighting either choice by means to cause any detriment to these people, as all of us will fall into both of these camps at varying points on our individual journeys.  But what I have come to learn is that both approaches can cause delays in improved health and well-being as they lack balance.

 

Healing is not always about getting what you want, infact it’s often about getting what you need

 

A channel or intuitive-led practitioner will often bypass the physical body or the guidance spoken on a 3D level and go straight for a deeper connection with your higher self.  This means that healing will take place unfiltered and in ways that are subconsciously determined by the part of you that knows how to get you the results you crave in the long run.  Knowing just what it needs to do to get you back on track physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually without fear or overthought, and often without initially making sense to the conscious mind.  This means that for some people they can be forced to down tools if they are people who are not checking in with their body enough or are in situations of heightened stress and trauma, which causes them to react or ‘keep going’ rather than to rest – almost like a fight or flight situation.

Resting is so hard to do, and learning to do it without frustration, without expectation and without a self-administered ‘time-frame’ is not only a huge act of self-care but it’s an inner surrender to flow.  Trusting the process and learning to see this unscheduled downtime as a blessing that is perhaps saving you from exhaustion, a breakdown, or a further deterioration in physical or mental health.  Those who resist the flow are often taken out of action for longer as it becomes no longer just about the benefits of resting and also about learning the lesson of how to live in flow and the great unknown.`

I understand first hand how hard resting is.  I battle with chronic fatigue every day in my personal life, which means that the need for rest is often unavoidable and unpredictable.  I also struggle with issues of worthiness.

On my ongoing search for my authentic self I can now see just how worthiness for me relates to rest.  For I have never allowed myself to feel worthy of rest.  In the past when I have taken even an afternoon to have a siesta, or I have written off a day to watch rubbish TV and sit in my pj’s, I feel an obligation from myself or those around me to do something.  To perhaps allow myself to lie in bed, but to do some work on my laptop at the same time.  Or to only allow an hour or two’s rest before getting up to tidy the house, all before my partner gets home and would therefore never know I had been resting!  This is not rest.  This is controlled rest.  My mind, let alone my body, never got to fully switch off and immerse itself in this down time as I was already thinking about what time I needed to get up or what was an adequate amount of ticks to make on my to do list alongside this day off!  And I see it so many times.  Clients who have had a period of exhaustion pre and post treatment with me, and being incredibly frustrated by this or wary to book a follow-up as a result.  Or those who ask if remedies will make them tired before even taking them, as they seek stimulants not relaxers.

I can see, and I include my own fears in this, that we are becoming a nation who are frightened to stop!

Truly stop.  As we have too many expectations placed upon us and we view resting as lazy, a waste of time and something that holds us back.

But what happens when we burn out or get sick?  We are forced to stop.  Yet the world keeps turning.  The household still runs.  The kids still get to school.  Our jobs wait for us to return (usually).  And as frustrated as we may feel initially, we know that our bodies want and need this.  We instinctively know that we need to take to our beds and to rest for a while, and in most cases we allow ourselves to do this.

Rest isn’t just about going to sleep or lying in bed.  Rest is about integration.  It’s about taking that time out from therapies, circles, people or duties by making time for some silence in your life.  It’s about switching off from the stimulants of caffeine, alcohol, drugs, unhealthy foods, social media and TV and getting out into nature, with just you and a good book or an intention of mindfulness.  It’s about getting off the treadmill in the gym and slowing it down to a jog or a walk in the local park.  It’s as simple as that. Above all else it’s about learning the difference between needing rest and integration or going into resistance (resistance blog coming soon!).

After any period of healing there is a time when we must stop and often disconnect from our current lives in order to adjust to the new and improved ways that are trying to enter.

So, if you’re still with me, take 5 minutes now to turn your phone to silent, to turn off the background noise and to tune into your body.  What is she asking from you?  Are there aches or pains?  Are there signs that you’ve ‘overdone’ it at the gym or at work or even socially with alcohol/food/drugs and too many late nights?  Perhaps on the emotional end of the scale, there may even be signs that you have done enough for now.  You have had enough treatments, you have attended enough retreats, you have sat in circle more times this month than you’ve sat at your family dinner table and now it’s time to stop and check in.  To quieten the mind and to engage the heart to see what’s coming up.  What triggers have revealed themselves this week or what signs are around you?  What lessons have you learnt?  What unique traits are you beginning to realise you have (as it’s not all about the negative!) It’s time to rest and it’s time to integrate no doubt, so do this for yourself now, no matter how small the act, as this is a fundamental part of any healing journey and awakening, yet it is often the one that gets ignored.  It shouldn’t take going on holiday to take time out to rest and to be present.

Taking time out whether physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally will give you more energy to get things done in the long run, and a much deeper sense of healing.

Rest. Listen. Integrate. Grow.

 

Yours in love and light,

 

 

Never fear, Oak and Agrimony will not necessarily induce rest for you, no more than any other remedy IF that’s what you need at the time of taking them.  So please don’t avoid them.

 

Sharing is caring!  Sharing my blogs, quoting my insights, and your continued support is always appreciated.  However, if you reference any of my work then please credit Honeysuckle Healing, and include links to the appropriate piece so that others may benefit from these tools too.  I work hard to ‘give back’ to my community through my free blogs and self-empowering online content.  I can only continue to meet this dedication through your respect and recognition.  Thank you

Jealousy is a common feeling, one that all of us experience far more than we perhaps care to admit.

It starts as early as childhood and usually results in squabbling siblings, competitive natures or comparable tendencies.  We are programmed when we are young that this is one of the ‘negative’ emotions and traits that we shouldn’t exhibit, yet we are rarely given the supportive tools to unlearn this behaviour, and instead tend to suppress or bury our feelings.

With that in mind, it is no surprise that we carry these feelings through to adulthood and often feel jealous long after it’s socially acceptable to be, even sometimes holding on to childhood rivalries as a result.  People like to put an ‘age’ on jealousy.  After perhaps the excusable cute stages of being a toddler, we have to ‘man up’.  We have to own these strong and often confusing feelings (usually in secret) forcing us to move on at hurried speeds, especially when we are unexpectedly triggered by them in later life.  When you start to understand jealousy, where it comes from and the effects of childhood supression, it becomes no surprise that so many adults still hold enviable comparisons and still feel the need to compete.  But what makes it worse is that when we feel jealous in later life our inner child comes along for the ride!  Bringing up old insecurities and suppressed emotions just to make the process feel even harder to deal with and to sprinkle a little self-guilt over the proceedings!

So why is jealousy such an important emotion to acknowledge?

 

In later life, since I’ve really begun to awaken, I have become increasingly aware of my own shadow side.  Today I was reminded in such a fleeting feeling that jealousy is still a part of who I am, albeit a continually self-challenged and reducing emotion.  An emotion that pacifies with every high vibrational discipline I practice, with every Bach remedy I take and with every day that I learn to love myself that little bit more, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a feeling that rears its head in different forms every now and again.

As a practitioner, and someone who has done a lot of self-healing in a short space of time, I understand that jealousy is what is known as a low vibrational energy.  It is something that comes more from ego, unbalanced emotions and often a place of disconnect within the heart.  But I also believe that it can be a wonderful learning tool when you’re ready to listen, as I see it as a ‘trigger’ emotion.  A trigger emotion is one that acts as a catalyst for great change, but one that can often be uncomfortable and challenging for not only ourselves but those around us.  It’s an emotion that is rarely about the other person and EVERYTHING about us.

Jealousy doesn’t always come from a place of resentment, bitterness or anger, which is often why it is seen to be so bad.  It gets subconsciously grouped together with other so called ‘bad’ emotions and the whole process portrays those experiencing it to be some kind of green eyed ‘monster’.  Yet I find jealousy is more linked to a place of self-worth, self-love and self-esteem or rather, lack of.

When we feel jealous it’s often because we don’t feel worthy.  We don’t feel we can have the same success or achievements as others, or when we need validating because we’re not quite giving ourselves the love and respect we seek, and it’s often only experienced when our own feelings of self-acceptance are too much in the negative.  Don’t be fooled into thinking that those truly living in their power won’t still experience feelings of jealousy, as they will, but for them it’s more likely to be quieter, infrequent, and will only serve as a learning tool when it surfaces.  Like every emotion, jealousy will appear multiple times on a healing journey.  It will be weaved into the fabric of your very being, linked subconsciously to intricate layers of past trauma, belief systems and core values.  Some feelings of envy will be strong and noticeable, whilst others will be subtle and take a period of processing to be able to put a name to the emotion.  And that in itself is healing!

Our shadow sides can teach us so much.  Just sitting with a feeling of jealousy can tell us what remedies for example are needed for the next part of our healing journey.  Holly Bach remedy is often associated with feelings of jealousy, but it isn’t always the most appropriate.  For squabbling children, I would say it is usually the ‘go to’ remedy, but Holly is for when we feel extremes of a negative.  So in the case of needing to invite love into the heart or balance extremes of jealousy then it’s one to consider, but I often think people with Larch and Pine tendencies can also experience a lot of jealousy.  For they often compare themselves, never quite feel good enough at what they do and in turn can look at everyone through an emerald tint for it’s less about the person they’re jealous of and more about their own feelings of inadequacy.

When I have been on retreats, taken part in intense healing courses and integrated into close-knit circles I have been surprised by how much jealousy I have felt.

I have felt as though others are getting opportunities that I am not, I have felt that I will never be as good as someone else and I have felt that space holders have given praise to others that I wanted for myself.  And at the time I know I was jealous in some form.  But what has been a huge breakthrough on my journey to releasing this jealousy, was to admit it.  Admit it to myself and in turn to the people I was sharing space with.  This admission was healing in itself for it would NEVER have been something I would have said out loud, I wouldn’t even have been able to say it to myself as I wouldn’t have been so aware.  But in saying out loud how I felt, I gave power to those words, I released them from my body and in turn I found the humour in the emotion. For I had spoken my truth, without filter, and let go, trusting the process.  I had chosen to do something differently to what I usually would and with that decision came deep healing, still to this day.

In a closing circle at a soul-journey I went on last year, the honesty stick made its way around the circle until it got to me.  I was asked to sum up what I was feeling, and in that moment, I felt my body get hot and my adrenalin fuelled feelings rush to my chest as if I were to have a panic attack at any given moment, for I knew I needed to say out loud, to all these people who seemed so perfect and so enlightened, that I was feeling jealous.  Jealous that the space holder gave her praise to someone else and not to me.  But luckily enough the two space holders were encouraging, created a safe space and they understood the need to expose the shadow side as much as the light, so I reluctantly shared.  I can’t even remember what was said in response to my words, but I felt better, I felt lighter and I no longer felt jealous! I realised in that moment that the jealousy triggered an emotion linked into my childhood insecurities, and I looked to that space holder as if she were my mother, wanting her to tell me what a good job I have done and that I had her seal of approval.

But I also realised in that moment that had she have given it to me, it wouldn’t have been enough.  She could have praised me 10 times over but until she gave me that 11th dose of praise it wouldn’t have felt enough.  And that’s because one of my main Bach types is Pine.  So, jealousy for me usually indicates a need for me to take Pine, to improve my self-worth and to find validation of myself.  The much feared feeling of jealousy actually became the tool that set me free in this case.  It gave me closure.  It gave me understanding. And it gave me a gentle reminder that I hadn’t taken enough Pine!  It also sparked a hugely emotive and honest closing circle, that I can now see perhaps wouldn’t have happened had I not been so open.  Had I not found the courage to share my shadow then others may not have been so rebelliously led to share theirs.  But in doing so we ALL exposed our shadow sides.  We ALL understood what triggered us and what needed deeper healing.  And it ended in such a deep respect, love and understanding  for each other and served as a humorous reminder of what we all needed to individually heal.  It couldn’t have ended better.  From such pain came an undoubtedly uncomfortable lesson and situation, but one that ended so blissfully and couldn’t have taught us what we all needed to know without my initial green eyes.

So, challenge your shadow sides.  Notice who and what triggers you.  Notice who you feel in competition with or enviable of.  For they can be your biggest teachers and your greatest tool for healing.

Yours in love and light,

 

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